She Says She's Already Won

A fantasy author walks into a grocery store...

My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, went to the grocery store this afternoon. This is eventful for a variety of reasons. First, she despises going to the grocery store and only does it when forced to do so. Today's glare into the empty refrigerator prompted this whiny "Oh, Nigel, there's nothing in this place to eat," and, subsequently, a fussy stomping around until she found shoes, an undergarment to slide beneath her clothing (you should see THAT process), and her purse so we could go to the store. While there, she decided she would buy a lottery ticket.

Now I have to explain that she doesn't typically buy lottery tickets because she considers them a form of reverse taxation (which I don't fully understand, even though she's explained it). But today she's willing to be taxed because the prize if her ticket's numbers are chosen is $25 million. Supposedly that will allow her to liberate all forms of sea turtles from shrimp trawling oppression. Oh, and she'll suddenly be able to market her novel, Choices Meant for Gods, in ways never before thought possible, making my lovely bride Amanda instantly famous. (I think that's a grand idea.)

To get on with my story: she approached the counter, handed the clerk her money and a voucher that indicated what numbers she'd like selected for her ticket, and the clerk asked if she had her ID with her. Sandy was stunned for a moment. As she explained to me later, no one has ever asked her for an ID when purchasing a lottery ticket before. The event is so infrequent that Sandy's never really thought about having an ID for it. She started digging in her purse and asked, "How old do you have to be to play?" The clerk answered, "18." I thought I would have to put hands on Sandy to keep her from dancing around the store. (She's 37. Ow! Well, you know they were all wondering!)

So Sandy says her day has been made and, even if she doesn't win $25 million in the drawing tonight, she feels like a winner at the moment.

Isn't that nice?

Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, lottery, sea turtles