She Made Me Leave

My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, felt that I would be less able to control my temper than she (imagine) so she sent me out of the attorney's building (the whole building!) when her soon-to-be-ex-husband appeared at mediation yesterday. She, her attorney and I were floored that he flew down here for this meeting.

But I guess he couldn't miss the chance to misrepresent his reasons for being an ass. (Oh, wait, she's going to censor this now.)

Forgive me, I guess he wanted to comply with at least one of the court's orders. (Oh, wait, she's still complaining about my choice of syntax.)

Forgive me again. I guess he wanted to be by his attorney's side when they asked my author to allow them to screw her over for the remainder of her natural life. (Is that one okay?) I have to be careful because she's not allowed to discuss (or make public) the details of conversations from the mediation. That would nullify the confidentiality of the conversations and possibly make them suddenly admissable in court, which is probably where this case is going. What a shame. She was really looking forward to having the mediation resolve any outstanding thoughts so they could wrap everything up yesterday. That was the point of the meeting.

So three hours of "mind-numbing stupidity" that she can't describe left her fussy. All she'll tell me is that she essentially said "screw it" to negotiations that weren't really negotiations, because she's trying to keep her future manageable, not screw it six ways from Sunday (I don't know what that means but it's some sort of mantra in the living room right now). She went to gorge herself on chocolate and kaysadeyas with a girlfriend, whom she couldn't tell anything to (What? Well how is it spelled? I don't even know what they are.) Sigh. She went to gorge herself on chocolate and chicken quesadillas at a restaurant in town and had to talk about anything in the world EXCEPT the mediation conversations, but it was apparent that The Idiot had been his natural self because, well, the plan was to gorge themselves on chocolate like it was therapy. You don't do that if you're celebrating something great.

I think I have to give the computer back to her now because she's getting fussy. She has work to do. But I wish she would have let me stay in the room/building yesterday. Considering how distracted and ready-to-sue-someone she is right now, I think I would have taken out the sword, run The Idiot through, and ended the whole problem right then and there. If you think about it, how could I be prosecuted in your society? I don't even exist here. She should have let me stay...

Tags: fantasy author, Sandy Lender, mediation

She's Free, Still, Almost

Today is mediation day. Wish her luck.

My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, gets to sit in her attorney's office for at least two hours this afternoon, paying him his hourly fee and a mediator his hourly fee because her idiot soon-to-be-ex-husband can't get his act together. This surprises no one, but it still makes her fussy because she really doesn't have the money to make a luxury car payment every month to keep her attorney on top of his attorney to get this divorce finalized. As she puts it, she could have bought a new car by now. It's been almost a year since she filed...

Anyway, she's rather fussy this morning, which I think does not bode well for her staying out of jail this afternoon. Never fear! I will make sure she takes no weapons with her to the meeting. The chances of her soon-to-be-ex-husband showing up for this meeting (despite the fact that he's required to show up for it) are slim to none, so she doesn't really have to take a weapon. No castration will be necessary. (Her words, not mine.) But she still likes the idea of something sharp in her possession... Sigh.

In good news, the girls are taking her out afterward to eat something loaded with chocolate. That sounds like a grand plan to me. As long as they get her back here to watch Beowulf (which she was prevented from doing last night for silly reasons that she doesn't want to deal with here) so I can use her inspired moments to write for me. Writing always takes her mind off the stupid crap in her life...

And isn't that one of the joys of being a writer? Getting away from the annoyances barking at the door?

Tags: fantasy author, Sandy Lender, mediation, Beowulf