She's Hosting Pseudonym Bloggers at Today the Dragon Wins

That title makes no sense at first.

Here's what it's supposed to mean. My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, is hosting a variety of authors at her main blog, Today the Dragon Wins, throughout the month of June, to talk about their use of (or non-use of) pen names for writing. Today's guest is Lisa Haselton, whose name you might recognize because I mentioned her several days ago. She's a book reviewer and author interviewer who recently read Sandy's upcoming novel Choices Meant for Kings. You can read the review here.

Today, Lisa discusses her need to use a pseudonym for her fiction writing because a celebrity already had her name on bookshelves. Pity. I think Lisa should have gone in with sword drawn to demand her place right beside...wait...Sandy's censoring me.

Fine.

If you'd like to read what other authors have contributed to the pseudonym discussion, the posts are archived at Today the Dragon Wins throughout the month of June. If you participate in the comments, you are automatically entered in a contest to win an electronic version of Sandy's epic fantasy Choices Meant for Gods and Raven Bower's paranormal thriller Apparitions. (Really? Raven? That's fantastic! When did you post Raven's story?) Everyone should read the article on Friday, June 13 (oh, how appropriate!) as well as Lisa's story today.

All my best,
Nigel
Tags: fantasy author, Sandy Lender, Choices Meant for Gods, pseudonym, Apparitions, Lisa Haselton, Raven Bower

She Hasn't Repressed This One, Careless Memory #11

A Glimpse into a Writer's Life
When my fantasy author, Sandy Lender, had graduated from high school, she started dating a lad named Matt. (That's it? You don't remember his last name?) She doesn't remember his last name at this time and doesn't have a yearbook (whatever that is) on hand to look it up. Matt was a funny guy who could draw cartoons very well and made her laugh.

Anyway, one afternoon, Sandy and Matt were sitting in the living room floor watching some movie in her parents' house when her father returned from a hunting trip. With his shotgun in hand.

Sandy thought nothing of this because her dad had been a hunter for as long as she could remember. Matt, on the other hand, freaked out. Sandy didn't notice, but heard stories from several of Matt's friends later.

Now, Sandy's dad is an intimidating man without a gun in his hand, but saw this as a perfect opportunity to put a little fear o' God into the lad dating his daughter. He proceeded to sit down and clean said gun in front of them. (This, too, was in the stories Matt told his friends, and which his friends recounted to Sandy.)

It's sometimes difficult to tell when her father is serious and when he's in jest. One evening when Sandy had endured several hours of divorce mediation stupidity, Sandy informed her parents that the day had "not gone well." She wasn't allowed to give particulars, but they were as disappointed as she was that the mediation hadn't resolved what it was supposed to resolve. Her father's response was, "You tell (insert name here) that your dad is looking for him." Now, coming from that man, that's just unsettling. I'd like to go with him if he starts hunting.

But to finish our current non-repressed memory, Sandy ended up breaking up with poor Matt for a variety of "space" issues, she says. The poor guy thought they should be in love and married and having a family. Sandy thought she should be going to college and getting a degree and looking for someone reliable and mature. She succeeded with the college and degree part…

Maybe Amanda and I will help her find the rest when she's ready.

Tags: fantasy author, Sandy Lender, writer's life, dating, shotgun, Careless Memory

She's Eternally Grateful for the Suggestion to Wear Pants

My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, returned from the hospital groggy, woozy, and unable to reason for herself. She blames the medication. At some point in the late afternoon, while sleeping in a drug-induced haze, she mumbled to me, "was that the doorbell?"

Now, I didn't want her climbing out of bed to answer the door, and I am unable to speak to other humans in this realm (she likens it to Big Bird's Snuffelupagus, which I have probably spelled incorrectly, and of which I have no working knowledge), so I just said, "no." She plunged back into R.E.M. sleep.

A few hours later, she awoke a bit more "alert" and, before scarfing more pain pills, announced, "I should see if someone left a package at the door."

I asked if she was expecting a package. Apparently, there's an Amazon order on the way and she's keen to get it. So I helped her get out of bed and suggested she put on pants. "Why?" My response was something along the lines of "you don't want to collapse in the open doorway in your skivvies and be found that way by a friend coming to check on you in the morning, do you?"

So she slid on the sweat pants she'd worn earlier and we meandered out to the front door, where, lo and behold, there was not only a package from Amazon, but well-meaning neighbors gathered around waiting for an appearance.

So she's eternally grateful for the suggestion to wear pants.

Tags: fantasy author, Sandy Lender, amazon

She's Hungry

Welcome to Post 200 here at the blog about my fantasy author, Sandy Lender. You'll be surprised to hear that she's starving herself this morning. No food. Or water. When she brushed her teeth, she couldn't even drink the water afterward.

Next strange twist, she's going to the hospital in sweat pants and a sleeveless tank top under her shirt instead of ... ah ... well ... I feel a little uncomfortable delving into that about my dear girl, but, suffice it to say, she's behaving abnormally this morning and I just KNOW it involves the lymphoma in her chest. She's being awfully vague with me, and whenever she's vague with me, I know something's up.

A friend arrived just a short while ago to whisk her away to the hospital. Do people usually go in pairs? She keeps telling me "See, Patrick Swayze is beating the odds with pancreatic cancer, and that's something serious, daunting, and horrific. He's filming a new series for TV. He's taking on the world and winning. All I have is Hodgkin's, which is going to be cured up in a couple months, hands down. No problems."

I guess if Patrick Swayze's doctors can perform extreme miracles, to the point that he can film The Beast, and all my author requires is normal procedures, I should be calm, but I don't like it when she's vague.

So here I sit for the morning, wondering what I'm missing at the hospital.

In the meantime, I writing down some excellent ideas for her re-write of Book III in the Choices trilogy. She's been trying to come up with a name for it.

Tags: Patrick Swayze, pancreatic cancer, Hodgkin's Disease, lymphoma, The Beast, Choices trilogy, fantasy author, Sandy Lender

Choices Meant for Kings Gets First Official Review

You can read the first official review for Choices Meant for Kings at Lisa Haselton's review and interview site here. My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, is thrilled. She wishes to extend her appreciation to Ms. Haselton for her time and for her positive comments.

When CMFK is available later this summer, we'll announce it all over the blogosphere. In the meantime, if you need a copy of the first novel in the Choices fantasy trilogy, Choices Meant for Gods is available at the publisher's site as either a hardcover edition or eBook (the eBook is only $3.99 so we're recommending that, of course), or at Amazon or anywhere fine books are sold.

Tags: Choices Meant for Kings, Lisa Haselton, Choices Meant for Gods, eBook, fantasy

She's Learned a Lesson About Liquid Plant Food

When purchasing Miracle-Gro All Purpose Liquid Plant Food, do not assume that it comes in a sealed and leak-proof container. Also, do not assume that the plastic bag the cashier put it in because you didn't take enough cloth bags to the store will be leak-proof either. When setting the plastic bag containing the liquid plant food container down in your home, you should consider setting it somewhere other than your stovetop.

Do I need to continue? Do all you visitors have a clear picture now of what my fantasy author did yesterday? Can you visualize the greenish liquid mess she mopped up off the stove?

The good news is she has these white and ivy burner covers (she called them burner covers...I have no idea how to work the stoves in your society so I'm just going with what she called them) so the liquid didn't go down into the stove, but, just the same, she let out this strange gurgling sound that made me assume we had lizards in the house (see post below).

The plant food bottle will be stored upright under the sink from now on.

Tags: plant food, Miracle-Gro, fantasy author

She Was So Excited She Could Hardly Breathe

No, it wasn't another "brush with Duran Duran." This morning while on sea turtle patrol, my fantasy author, Sandy Lender, found three sea turtle crawls in her zones. She was ecstatic. Now, one of the crawls looked as if the turtle was just up on the beach checking things out, perhaps getting frustrated by a particularly difficult dune where digging activity was evident. At that crawl, the turtle did quite a bit of crawling around on the sand, as if she'd been disturbed by something.

Sandy felt sorry for her. As she puts it, "Dragging your body around the beach can't be easy when you're a turtle full of eggs."

Anyway, I'll post some pictures here. The one with "holes" that look like eyes is a nest with obvious ghost crab activity. Sandy was miffed (and concerned) to see ghost crabs were already messing around her turtle nest. You can see by the first picture that the crab has a sizeable entry and exit chamber. In the second picture, you see the shells Sandy has poked in the holes to aggravate the crab if it should be continuing to use the burrow. This is the practice the members of Turtle Time use to discourage the crabs from sticking around. (Oh, Sandy informs me she'd rather skewer the blasted little beasts, but that's not fair to the crabs who are just doing what crabs do.) Instead, the volunteers put shells, sticks and sand down the holes to irritate the crabs into moving elsewhere.

I was moderately concerned for her throughout the process because she gets winded easily these days. Because this is the "writer's life" blog I'm allowed to announce that she's got an obnoxious battle to fight over the next couple of months. She's been diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease and all the enlarged lymph nodes and whatnot are in her chest around her breathing tube, so when she gets all excited about sea turtle nests, she starts coughing and wheezing as if I need to cart her away on some sort of stretcher. Combine that with the "oh my God, the stupid ghost crabs have been here already!" and getting her to breathe became my focus. You know, there are books to finish...I can't have her collapsing on the sand somewhere waiting for the tide to carry her out.

She's happily planting flowers now. The dead plant that she couldn't bring back to life finally irritated her enough that she had to replace it. So she went all out and put violets in the planter box in front of the lanai. This is something her landlord should be responsible for, but...we won't get into all that. But here's the odd thing she's done so far. She left the lanai door open so going back and forth with potting soil and plants would be easier. Of course, a lizard darted in. This sort of thing worries her because lizards that get trapped on the lanai usually starve to death. So she cornered the lizard, grabbed it without causing it to drop its tail, and took it back outside to release it. While she had it in her hands, it, naturally, opened its mouth and grabbed her thumb. Small lizard=no pain. But when she placed it on a tree outside, it didn't let go. In fact, it clamped down harder on her thumb. And there she stood. Next to a tree. With a lizard hanging from her thumb. For at least a solid minute.

The end of the story is she convinced the lizard to grab onto the tree instead and she finished planting all the flowers (they look lovely, by the way; Kora would be pleased with the scene) in the planter box. I'll go inspect the rest of what she's doing...

All my best,

Nigel

Tags: fantasy author, Sandy Lender, Duran Duran, Turtle Time

She Announces Choices Meant for Kings has its ISBNs

My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, is pleased to announce that the second book in the Choices fantasy trilogy, Choices Meant for Kings, now has its ISBNs.

Hardcover (10): 1-59507-219-5
Hardcover (13): 978-159507-219-1
eBook: 1-59507-220-9

If you wish to read the first novel, Choices Meant for Gods, before the second book comes out, you can pick it up at Amazon or anywhere fine books are sold. The eBook version is available for only $3.99 at the publisher's site.

Tags: ISBN, Choices Meant for Kings, Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, eBook

She's Watching the Mail for Returning ARCs

Prior to the release of novels, authors typically send out advance reader copies (ARCs) for marketing blurbs to put on the cover jacket and for professional review. My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, has been engaged in this practice for a couple weeks now, seeking out professional reviewers who a) read fantasy and b) will accept ARCs. It's surprising the fine line of time during which reviewers will accept a work for review. They want the book to be a published work, but they want it on their reading schedule while the book is "new". Considering the backlog some of these reviewers have, this means they should never read a "new" book. Be that as it may, she's having some success getting ARCs for Choices Meant for Kings out the door.

When the post office doesn't thwart her.

Here's why she's grumbling. She took one of these advance reader copies, beautifully spiral bound (which she spent a pretty penny to do, by the way), and mailed it from the post office to a reviewer in Canada who is anxiously awaiting its arrival. A day later, the package was returned. It needed a customs form. Considering Sandy had taken it to the post office for mailing, it seemed odd to her that the post office was returning it for something they should have "noticed" when she said, "this one is going to Canada; can I still send it by media mail, or is there some other way we have to use?"

So she hoofed it (her phrase, not mine) back to the post office yesterday to try again. The lady behind the counter gave her a form to fill out and did something Sandy did not expect. She didn't charge her to re-post the package. In fact, the lady printed a new postage label with the new date and affixed it to the package just below the original postage label. Sandy questioned this, but was told it would be fine.

Now Sandy's betting anyone who's willing to take the bet that this package gets returned again because the post office (read: government entity) will want more postage for having to touch the package a second time.

In the meantime, she's repeating her announcement that any professional reviewers willing to read the ARC for Choices Meant for Kings can contact her through this site. She still has a few left.

All my best,
Nigel
Tags: advance reader copies, Choices Meant for Kings, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, professional review