(My fantasy author posted a version of this article at Today the Dragon Wins yesterday. I'm posting it here today to give more readers the opportunity to get value from it.)
You Can Do It: Keep Your 2008 Resolutions on Track
By Sandy Lender
Mid-January seemed an appropriate time to assess the progress of New Year's resolutions. Adhering to a new exercise regimen to attain a healthy lifestyle, maintaining a new budget to save up for a vacation, or sticking to a regular writing schedule to realize your publishing dreams, etc., can all be doomed if you give in to the rest of society's penchant for instant gratification. Like the three-toed box turtle in the smoking-cessation ads, slow and steady toward an achievable goal wins the day.
Experts at the American Psychiatric Association (APA) suggest a variety of exercises for staying on course with New Year's resolutions and personal goals, but the best was "make a plan and write it down."
For those of you familiar with The Secret, you can probably see an element of visualization in this method. By writing down your goal and the steps you need to take to realize that goal, you set yourself up for success. Getting derailed, which University of Maryland Medical Center researchers warn happens within the first few weeks of "good intentions," is more difficult if you can spell out your plan of action.
What I like to do is a tried and true practice from a job-hunting resource. I take a large sheet of paper and write my goal in the center with an action verb. For instance, about four months before I moved from Missouri to Florida, I wrote "move to Florida" in the center of a huge sheet of drawing paper. Then I began to randomly write down steps I needed to take to make that move a reality, without worrying about what order to write them in. At that stage in the planning, there's no point in limiting yourself with editing. I wrote down things such as "find new job," "give notice at work," "sell house," "replace carpet," "hire moving van," "find apartment," etc. Once all the thoughts were down on paper, I could organize them into categories and a logical order. That same process can take place with any personal goal. Once you're finished, your goal is that much easier to visualize and attain.
Another aspect to planning the success of your resolution is making it realistic. When I wished to get my fantasy novel published, my only bylines were in trade publications and association newsletters. I had no hope. So my resolution back in 2004 couldn't be, "I'll get Choices Meant for Gods published with TOR this year." My goal had to be more realistic. A researcher at the University of Maryland Medical Center, Jill RachBeisel, M.D. and director of community psychiatry, advises that the trick to keeping resolutions is to keep everything "in perspective. Focus on realistic goals with measurable results. You need to break things down into small steps that you can manage."
When I finished writing Choices Meant for Gods, I'd taken the first step toward the goal. Contacting agents to represent me in the publishing industry was the logical second step. Setting an appointment to meet with a small- to mid-size publisher in Florida was the logical (and best) third step. Getting a contract with that publisher was the fourth step, and so on. I didn't limit myself to going after a large publishing house within a certain set number of months.
This exemplifies what researchers at the University of Maryland Medical Center advise people do when setting their New Year's resolutions: "Don't make absolute resolutions. Keep them realistic."
That also means keeping them flexible. If your goal is to finish a research-based novel by the end of NaNo this Nov. 30, and you've performed the mapping and visualizing exercise above, you probably have to start looking up information prior to Nov. 1. Visits to sites associated with your text, Internet research, interviews with primary sources, etc., all take time that you want to build into your goal. If some aspect of your research isn't complete by a certain date, don't let that sabotage your entire project. Your resolution doesn't have to fail because one aspect has fallen through or because you miss a week of preparatory writing, etc.
APA lists "forgiving yourself" as one of the important aspects of success. A small setback is just that: small. With an achievable, realistic goal that you've taken the time to map out and visualize, it's just a matter of time before you're back on track. By maintaining a steady pace and watching yourself take each step toward your goal, your chances of meeting your resolution increase each day.
(Additional information for succeeding with your New Year's resolutions can be found at www.healthyminds.org/resolutions.cfm. The American Academy of Pediatrics offers suggestions for resolutions for preschoolers through teens at www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/jankidstips.cfm.)
Sidenote: During my research, I found that the top resolutions people make are to be healthy, lose weight or exercise more; to quit smoking and/or drinking; to save money, get a better job or make more money; to manage or reduce stress; or to spend more time with family. At www.lifehacker.com, researchers broke it down by percentages. They surveyed 10,883 people and found their top resolution, at 32.6 percent, was to lose weight and get fit. I didn’t weigh in, but my category of "I didn't make a New Year's resolution" came in with 21.6 percent of the votes, which I thought was high. (Interestingly, 3.2 percent of their respondents want to write a book.)
Sandy Lender is a magazine editor living in sunny Southwest Florida and a fantasy author. Her first novel, Choices Meant for Gods is available from ArcheBooks Publishing or on http://www.amazon.com/.
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy novel, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, resolutions, goals, 2008 resolutions, New Year's resolutions, The Secret, keeping resolutions
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
She Has a Contest at The Dragon
Visitors over at Today the Dragon Wins can win a copy of the epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods if you comment on one of my guest blogs where I wax poetic about my lovely bride-to-be, Amanda Chariss. Yes, my fantasy author, Sandy Lender, has given me permission to rant and rave about how amazing and glorious and beautiful and incredible Amanda is. (Middle what? Oh, yes, sorry about that - the only caveat is she insists that I use Amanda's middle name as everyone else does.) So about once a week between now and Valentine's Day, you can read a guest post by me at http://www.todaythedragonwins.blogspot.com/, leave a comment in the comment field, and be entered in the contest to win your own first-edition, hard-cover, autographed copy of the epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods, in which you'll meet the amazing fantasy heroine Chariss. (And she is absolutely stunning with her lavender eyes and her quick wit and her excellent sword skills and her ability to steal her way into your heart without you even realizing it's happened...)
If you doubt my word on it, you can read reviews of Choices Meant for Gods at http://www.amazon.com/ where people confirm my assertions. (What? I'm an educator, I'm supposed to speak as if I'm educated. Trust me and let me just type this.)
So stop by http://www.todaythedragonwins.blogspot.com/ when you have a chance and seek out my first guest blog post (I did it Monday) to get your first entry in. You can enter every day if you like...
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy novel, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, contest, dragon, Today the Dragon Wins, Valentine's Day
If you doubt my word on it, you can read reviews of Choices Meant for Gods at http://www.amazon.com/ where people confirm my assertions. (What? I'm an educator, I'm supposed to speak as if I'm educated. Trust me and let me just type this.)
So stop by http://www.todaythedragonwins.blogspot.com/ when you have a chance and seek out my first guest blog post (I did it Monday) to get your first entry in. You can enter every day if you like...
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy novel, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, contest, dragon, Today the Dragon Wins, Valentine's Day
Monday, January 14, 2008
She Has to Trade the Car In
My fantasy author found a spider egg sack.
In the car.
Now, because she's just absolutely insane when it comes to this spider business, I can't laugh at this (much), but when she touched it (because she thought it might be a worm of some sort...and I don't understand that...), it moved and tiny baby spiders erupted from it. She let out a sound that I don't ever want to hear again.
Needless to say, the car will smell like Raid for a month.
She is actually considering trading in the car. I don't see how she can afford to do this with the foreclosure taking place, but she's persistent, you know. Oh, and she's also fussy. She's informed me that I can't talk about spiders anymore. We'll have a new topic tomorrow. (And, really, she has so many neuroses to choose from...)
Tags: fantasy author
In the car.
Now, because she's just absolutely insane when it comes to this spider business, I can't laugh at this (much), but when she touched it (because she thought it might be a worm of some sort...and I don't understand that...), it moved and tiny baby spiders erupted from it. She let out a sound that I don't ever want to hear again.
Needless to say, the car will smell like Raid for a month.
She is actually considering trading in the car. I don't see how she can afford to do this with the foreclosure taking place, but she's persistent, you know. Oh, and she's also fussy. She's informed me that I can't talk about spiders anymore. We'll have a new topic tomorrow. (And, really, she has so many neuroses to choose from...)
Tags: fantasy author
Sunday, January 13, 2008
She Had Another Spider-in-the-Car Incident
I probably shouldn't make fun of her this way, but my fantasy author just stepped away from the writing den, which means I have full command of the computer and keyboard. She can't stop me. Yesterday, Sandy Lender had another one of those spider encounters that raises her blood pressure. The creature's gut-smear is still on the driver's side window...
Let me set the scene for you so you can appreciate this as much as the witness did. Oh, yes, there was a witness to the whole thing this time. She had just checked the mail (which became the weapon that created "the smear") and returned to the driver's seat. She closed the door, drove about twenty feet, let out this ear-piercing shriek, threw the car into "park", flung the door open, and swatted the spider (which was moving at a pretty good clip) mere inches from her head.
For those of you who know Sandy, you might think she was brave in killing the spider (about an inch long, including bent legs, she said afterward). But I think she killed it for lack of any other recourse. Think about it. She couldn't get out of the car because she'd have to get past the spider. (I think we can all agree that wasn't happening.) And she couldn't climb over the gear-shift and the passenger seat to exit the car that way (which she's done in the blink of an eye once before when escaping a spider) because a friend was sitting in the passenger seat.
So she looked brave (except for the scream that frightened her friend into thinking she'd just run over a child) for a moment, but she's nervous every time she gets into the car now. This is the third spider-in-the-car incident in a year. She's considering trading the car in...
Tags: fantasy author, Sandy Lender, spider
Let me set the scene for you so you can appreciate this as much as the witness did. Oh, yes, there was a witness to the whole thing this time. She had just checked the mail (which became the weapon that created "the smear") and returned to the driver's seat. She closed the door, drove about twenty feet, let out this ear-piercing shriek, threw the car into "park", flung the door open, and swatted the spider (which was moving at a pretty good clip) mere inches from her head.
For those of you who know Sandy, you might think she was brave in killing the spider (about an inch long, including bent legs, she said afterward). But I think she killed it for lack of any other recourse. Think about it. She couldn't get out of the car because she'd have to get past the spider. (I think we can all agree that wasn't happening.) And she couldn't climb over the gear-shift and the passenger seat to exit the car that way (which she's done in the blink of an eye once before when escaping a spider) because a friend was sitting in the passenger seat.
So she looked brave (except for the scream that frightened her friend into thinking she'd just run over a child) for a moment, but she's nervous every time she gets into the car now. This is the third spider-in-the-car incident in a year. She's considering trading the car in...
Tags: fantasy author, Sandy Lender, spider
She Congratulates Loretta Wilson
If you check out yesterday's post at Today the Dragon Wins, you'll see all the details, because I'm not typing all that here (sorry, dear, but it was complex). My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, announced the winner of the December Choices Meant for Gods contest at http://www.todaythedragonwins.blogspot.com/. I would like to congratulate Loretta Wilson on a job well done!
For those of you who entered the contest but weren't drawn from the Duran Duran tour cap (yes, Sandy's graduated from the kitchen mixing bowl she used to use for drawings), you can pick up a copy of CMFG at http://www.amazon.com/Choices-Meant-Gods-Sandy-Lender/dp/1595071652/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1200155650&sr=1-1 with free shipping, or you can enter the new contest that I'm participating in. The contest details will be announced shortly at http://www.authorisland.com/. Good luck to you all!
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, contest, Loretta Wilson, Duran Duran, Today the Dragon Wins
For those of you who entered the contest but weren't drawn from the Duran Duran tour cap (yes, Sandy's graduated from the kitchen mixing bowl she used to use for drawings), you can pick up a copy of CMFG at http://www.amazon.com/Choices-Meant-Gods-Sandy-Lender/dp/1595071652/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1200155650&sr=1-1 with free shipping, or you can enter the new contest that I'm participating in. The contest details will be announced shortly at http://www.authorisland.com/. Good luck to you all!
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, contest, Loretta Wilson, Duran Duran, Today the Dragon Wins
Saturday, January 12, 2008
She's Digging
My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, had this contest running over at her main blog, http://www.todaythedragonwins.blogspot.com/, in which you could win a copy of her epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods. She's going to start another up shortly, but first she has to actually CONTACT the winner to figure out if she can actually get the book and bookbag to this person. As you visitors are probably aware, most e-mail addresses are set on "block" or somehow set so the blogsite administrator cannot reply/respond privately to comments that are left on posts. So she's digging.
It'll be just a while.
In the meantime, I'm just posting this little update to let you know she's a few days closer to insanity. The spiral downward is amusing to watch at times, but also sad. I'm hoping one of the unfinished horrible things in her life ends soon so she can set aside the stress of something and refocus her energies on writing. I think she should start suing people (soon-to-be-ex-husband who can't comply with things the court orders and misses deadlines and extensions, bank attorneys who don't respond for weeks at a time, an independent health insurance agent for State Farm who proposed she commit fraud so he could earn his commission while she sits here without health insurance, etc.) for stress, mental anguish, and inability to earn royalties from marketing because she can't focus on marketing. (See, I'm picking up on this stuff in your society. Slowly but surely...)
In good news, she's happy with her job and her bird is thrilled to sit three feet from her desk all day. Luckily, there's a door between her and the bird so she can close it when he squawks at people on the phone (which is frequently). And this is the life of a writer!
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, State Farm, today the dragon wins
It'll be just a while.
In the meantime, I'm just posting this little update to let you know she's a few days closer to insanity. The spiral downward is amusing to watch at times, but also sad. I'm hoping one of the unfinished horrible things in her life ends soon so she can set aside the stress of something and refocus her energies on writing. I think she should start suing people (soon-to-be-ex-husband who can't comply with things the court orders and misses deadlines and extensions, bank attorneys who don't respond for weeks at a time, an independent health insurance agent for State Farm who proposed she commit fraud so he could earn his commission while she sits here without health insurance, etc.) for stress, mental anguish, and inability to earn royalties from marketing because she can't focus on marketing. (See, I'm picking up on this stuff in your society. Slowly but surely...)
In good news, she's happy with her job and her bird is thrilled to sit three feet from her desk all day. Luckily, there's a door between her and the bird so she can close it when he squawks at people on the phone (which is frequently). And this is the life of a writer!
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, State Farm, today the dragon wins
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
She's All Worked up About Sodium Citrate at Perkins
My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, works from home now, writes from home, edits from home, and pretty much stays glued to the computer. I don't think this is healthy, so I encourage her to get out when friends invite her to lunch. A friend grabbed her and went with her to a restaurant called Perkins yesterday. They've actually gone there before, and had the same angry service, so I don't think they'll be going back. (One of the wait staff was actually throwing silverware this time...like a petulant child, Sandy says.)
Anyway, Sandy likes to eat organic food when she can afford it because she hates the thought of putting pesticide-laden poison into her body. She figures cancer already has a fighting chance of killing her, given her genetics; why feed it what it needs to work faster? So she shops at the organic grocery store when possible, avoids bizarre preservatives, and watches out for unsafe food conditions. She doesn't even add salt to her food. (Sodium raises your blood pressure, she tells me.) Sitting at Perkins was dangerous enough, but when her friend read the ingredients of the Half & Half containers sitting in a little bowl on the table, and finished with "Needs No Chill" and a laugh, Sandy's eyes shot open. "WHAT?"
Anyone who knows her knows this began an internet search. Yes, the ingredients of Half & Half (the Perkins variety, at any rate) are milk, cream, and sodium citrate. Two of these ingredients should remain refrigerated. (Even I know that, and I don't hail from this society.) So what is it about the third ingredient that renders the other two no longer in need of "chill?" You people put this stuff in your coffee and drink it. (Sandy drinks neither coffee nor Half & Half, but she was still curious.)
Turns out that Sodium Citrate is a preservative; trisodium salt. And it's hazardous, according to a variety of sources on the internet. (The main source I'm using for this column is www.jtbaker.com. ) It can cause irritation to skin, eyes, and respiratory tract. It has a flammability rating of "slight." Under normal storage and use conditions, the product is stable, but when you heat it to decomposition (more than 302 degrees F), it produces carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide. Now, being from another society, I have no idea what those things are, but Sandy assures me they're bad things for humans to breathe for a long time.
What it boils down to is my fantasy author won't be eating at Perkins anymore because the service has been bad each time she's been in there and the food is less than healthy (she says I don't have to describe the grease because people already know this about such restaurants). But the Half & Half put her over the edge and she wanted me to spell this out as just another bizarre moment in a writer's life.
Tags: fantasy author, Sandy Lender, sodium citrate, blood pressure, writer's life
Anyway, Sandy likes to eat organic food when she can afford it because she hates the thought of putting pesticide-laden poison into her body. She figures cancer already has a fighting chance of killing her, given her genetics; why feed it what it needs to work faster? So she shops at the organic grocery store when possible, avoids bizarre preservatives, and watches out for unsafe food conditions. She doesn't even add salt to her food. (Sodium raises your blood pressure, she tells me.) Sitting at Perkins was dangerous enough, but when her friend read the ingredients of the Half & Half containers sitting in a little bowl on the table, and finished with "Needs No Chill" and a laugh, Sandy's eyes shot open. "WHAT?"
Anyone who knows her knows this began an internet search. Yes, the ingredients of Half & Half (the Perkins variety, at any rate) are milk, cream, and sodium citrate. Two of these ingredients should remain refrigerated. (Even I know that, and I don't hail from this society.) So what is it about the third ingredient that renders the other two no longer in need of "chill?" You people put this stuff in your coffee and drink it. (Sandy drinks neither coffee nor Half & Half, but she was still curious.)
Turns out that Sodium Citrate is a preservative; trisodium salt. And it's hazardous, according to a variety of sources on the internet. (The main source I'm using for this column is www.jtbaker.com. ) It can cause irritation to skin, eyes, and respiratory tract. It has a flammability rating of "slight." Under normal storage and use conditions, the product is stable, but when you heat it to decomposition (more than 302 degrees F), it produces carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide. Now, being from another society, I have no idea what those things are, but Sandy assures me they're bad things for humans to breathe for a long time.
What it boils down to is my fantasy author won't be eating at Perkins anymore because the service has been bad each time she's been in there and the food is less than healthy (she says I don't have to describe the grease because people already know this about such restaurants). But the Half & Half put her over the edge and she wanted me to spell this out as just another bizarre moment in a writer's life.
Tags: fantasy author, Sandy Lender, sodium citrate, blood pressure, writer's life
Sunday, December 9, 2007
She's Got This Thing About 3:30 A.M.
I'm not sure what's so magical about this hour, but my fantasy author, Sandy Lender, tends to either fall asleep at the computer at this hour when I'm trying to get her to write, or she wakes up at this hour. She woke up at 3:30 this morning with an idea for a new fantasy novel, set on the continent of Onweald, which is significant because that's the place where a majority of the story of the Choices Meant for Gods trilogy takes place.
Sidenote: If you haven't already purchased a copy of CMFG for yourself or a loved one, it would make a fabulous Christmas present for anyone who enjoys the Lord of the Rings/Tolkien stories. I'm going on faith there because I'm not familiar with the books, only the movies. (She says I shouldn't admit such a thing because the books, while not able to convey the hotness of Viggo Mortensen, are better than the movies. I think I get her meaning, but I'm going to pretend that I don't.)
Anyway, the point of this post is to let you all know that this day in a writer's life, the writer woke up at 3:30 to scribble down notes for a new fantasy novel. And then neglected to post her usual items to her blog over at www.todaythedragonwins.blogspot.com so she just posted something for writers about half an hour ago. I think she's nuts for trying to keep up with daily posts given everything else she has going on in her life, but she's got this contest going where you can win a copy of the epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods. The rules/directions are posted over at www.authorisland.com, which is a great site for readers (and writers) who want to get information about new books that are out, the authors who write them, etc.
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, www.todaythedragonwins.blogspot.com, new books, Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien, Viggo Mortensen
Sidenote: If you haven't already purchased a copy of CMFG for yourself or a loved one, it would make a fabulous Christmas present for anyone who enjoys the Lord of the Rings/Tolkien stories. I'm going on faith there because I'm not familiar with the books, only the movies. (She says I shouldn't admit such a thing because the books, while not able to convey the hotness of Viggo Mortensen, are better than the movies. I think I get her meaning, but I'm going to pretend that I don't.)
Anyway, the point of this post is to let you all know that this day in a writer's life, the writer woke up at 3:30 to scribble down notes for a new fantasy novel. And then neglected to post her usual items to her blog over at www.todaythedragonwins.blogspot.com so she just posted something for writers about half an hour ago. I think she's nuts for trying to keep up with daily posts given everything else she has going on in her life, but she's got this contest going where you can win a copy of the epic fantasy novel Choices Meant for Gods. The rules/directions are posted over at www.authorisland.com, which is a great site for readers (and writers) who want to get information about new books that are out, the authors who write them, etc.
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, www.todaythedragonwins.blogspot.com, new books, Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien, Viggo Mortensen
Sunday, December 2, 2007
She's Staying Busy
While she goes out to the swamp to see if the sheriff has blocked access to her house yet, I'm going to fill you in on my fantasy writer's weekend. I keep thinking that she should get some sort of notification when the locks get changed on her home, but she says nothing else in this process has gone smoothly, why should the "final foreclosing" be any different. Because I'm not from this society, and I have no experience with such things, I can't argue. It doesn't appear that things have been done according to your laws so far, though. It's a pity she doesn't have the funds to start suing these institutions for mental anguish...
The point of today's post, this weekend in a writer's life: my fantasy author, Sandy Lender, got to attend a writers' meeting yesterday afternoon, and then went up to St. Petersburg to visit a friend who was in town for a conference.
It sounds so much less exciting when I spell it out like that. She had a nice time and got back home by 10 p.m. At the writers' meeting, one of the people who has read Choices Meant for Gods suggested in a rather pointed manner to her publisher (who was also in attendance) that he get her second book out. That process is more complex at the moment than one might guess. Of course, I'll get to break the news here as soon as there is news to break.
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, writers life
The point of today's post, this weekend in a writer's life: my fantasy author, Sandy Lender, got to attend a writers' meeting yesterday afternoon, and then went up to St. Petersburg to visit a friend who was in town for a conference.
It sounds so much less exciting when I spell it out like that. She had a nice time and got back home by 10 p.m. At the writers' meeting, one of the people who has read Choices Meant for Gods suggested in a rather pointed manner to her publisher (who was also in attendance) that he get her second book out. That process is more complex at the moment than one might guess. Of course, I'll get to break the news here as soon as there is news to break.
Tags: Choices Meant for Gods, fantasy author, Sandy Lender, writers life
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