Thursday, February 28, 2008

She Made Me Leave

My fantasy author, Sandy Lender, felt that I would be less able to control my temper than she (imagine) so she sent me out of the attorney's building (the whole building!) when her soon-to-be-ex-husband appeared at mediation yesterday. She, her attorney and I were floored that he flew down here for this meeting.

But I guess he couldn't miss the chance to misrepresent his reasons for being an ass. (Oh, wait, she's going to censor this now.)

Forgive me, I guess he wanted to comply with at least one of the court's orders. (Oh, wait, she's still complaining about my choice of syntax.)

Forgive me again. I guess he wanted to be by his attorney's side when they asked my author to allow them to screw her over for the remainder of her natural life. (Is that one okay?) I have to be careful because she's not allowed to discuss (or make public) the details of conversations from the mediation. That would nullify the confidentiality of the conversations and possibly make them suddenly admissable in court, which is probably where this case is going. What a shame. She was really looking forward to having the mediation resolve any outstanding thoughts so they could wrap everything up yesterday. That was the point of the meeting.

So three hours of "mind-numbing stupidity" that she can't describe left her fussy. All she'll tell me is that she essentially said "screw it" to negotiations that weren't really negotiations, because she's trying to keep her future manageable, not screw it six ways from Sunday (I don't know what that means but it's some sort of mantra in the living room right now). She went to gorge herself on chocolate and kaysadeyas with a girlfriend, whom she couldn't tell anything to (What? Well how is it spelled? I don't even know what they are.) Sigh. She went to gorge herself on chocolate and chicken quesadillas at a restaurant in town and had to talk about anything in the world EXCEPT the mediation conversations, but it was apparent that The Idiot had been his natural self because, well, the plan was to gorge themselves on chocolate like it was therapy. You don't do that if you're celebrating something great.

I think I have to give the computer back to her now because she's getting fussy. She has work to do. But I wish she would have let me stay in the room/building yesterday. Considering how distracted and ready-to-sue-someone she is right now, I think I would have taken out the sword, run The Idiot through, and ended the whole problem right then and there. If you think about it, how could I be prosecuted in your society? I don't even exist here. She should have let me stay...

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theauthormike said...

Dearest Sweet Nigel, Please remind your Sandy Girl that I suggested long ago that we get some "fun" pictures" to take to court. I of course volunteered to participate in them, even to the point of getting "crazy". Shame her morals were to high to take me up on the proposal.
Bye sweetie, Love, Stella

Nigel said...

I'll get his address for you. Just because he hasn't "complied" and filed his current address with the court doesn't mean we don't all know exactly where he is. And his schedule. And his route. Sandy says to insert an evil laugh here.

All my best,

Kimberly said...

I still have BAP.
Would you like to borrow him?

Sandy Lender said...

It's been 16 years, Dahling. You still have Bap? Yes, we may need to send him up to a member of the Mafia just to make Justice sweeter when she lands.
Bwuahahahahahahahahaha. she joking? Is she serious? She doesn't have enough money for a hit...Hmm...
***insert maniacal laughter here***
Sandy L.
"Some days, I just want the dragon to win."

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